Day 476: There Was Only Ever One

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∴

there was only ever One

who was there
at the beginning of time,
as i would recall it.

 

who smelled with me,
the sweet and strong musk
of horse sweat and hay,
and leather,
that hung in ropes and stirrups on the walls;
that heard the creaking of a saddle under denim
as familiar as the rain on my bedroom roof,

and who rode down
into dark fields
to look up
at full moons
and be more afraid
of the places i “had to be”
than the wild things
that homed in the wood.

 

 

it was The Same,
who watched
with bowed and smoke-teared eyes
as i dragged my first fag,
and who looked up
years later,
when i set the pack down on a bar –
on Palm Sunday –
and walked away,
for good.

 

this was the One
who laughed while i chased the geckos
in and around the ice plant,
past the little orange tree
that grew on my grandma’s lot,
and called me on the winds
in that strange and silent olive garden
that no one else but me
would play in.

 

this was the One
who held time aside
while i wrecked and bled and broke and hid.

 

this was the One
who held me
while i held them,
all the little ones i fed.

 

and is still the One,
who walks these gravel roads with me
and buzzes ‘round my head
like deer flies and cicada cries,
unyielding,
that i not forget
the company i keep.

 

there was really only ever One,
who walks with me now,
as then,
and will,
in future’s sleep.

∴

 

 

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