Day 33: Sitting With You
Loneliness stands out to me today as an unavoidable side-effect of personal journey. You can be surrounded by people, never alone, and still feel isolation, like a ghost beside you. It’s a faithful hound that does not leave your knee.
I have thought on it’s remedy. For it’s not the donor of funds, nor the doer of deeds, nor the dinner-dropper-offer that alleviates this particular ailment. Please, don’t misunderstand, they are good and generous things, appreciated and valued, and are, at times, the best we can do for each other.
I remember a story a nurse friend of mine told me. He worked in pediatric intensive care. Most of the children had parents nearby and an entourage of doctors in constant rotation about them. There was one child though, not yet a toddler, who was being medically cared for but without parents frequently around. And this baby would cry. He was hooked up to a gad of gadgets, and IV’s, and what-nots, and he would cry all the time.
His “pain” was being managed. His medication was being administered. Attendants would come with balloons and puppet shows and cartoons and crayons, but this boy just cried.
One shift, my friend, he walked into this baby’s room and sat at the foot of his bed and just held his feet. That’s it. Just put palm-of-hands on soles-of-feet, and you know?
He stopped crying.
He wasn’t “fixed.”
He wasn’t “healed.”
He wasn’t anything different
than what he was
two minutes prior.
But he was better.
See, sometimes the moon is too thin and the clouds are too thick and we can miss without relief. And sometimes, just having a witness beside you is what makes it okay.
So today, my good thing is you. You’ve come here. You’ve read this far. You’ve listened to my story. Now I’ll listen to yours…
An imagination exercise:
Grab a cup of coffee (or tea).
Sit down.
I’ll sit beside you.
We can talk if you want to, or we can just be still.
You can cry and I won’t tell.
You can yell and I won’t run.
You can laugh, and laugh hard.
I’ll get water for the hiccups.
Or just give me your feet for a while.
I don’t mind holding the sole.
6 Replies to “Day 33: Sitting With You”
This made me cry. I could do with a coffee with you.
You got it. Love and text coming at you.
I just had my coffee in my garden and had you with me on the sunny chair.
Thank you for letting me join you. Love…
I am doing research for a message Im giving on leaving baggage behind and I read the following:
“One of the primary ways to release oxytocin is through touching. Obviously, it’s not always appropriate to touch most people, but small touches like handshakes and pats on the back are usually okay. For people you’re close with, make more of an effort to touch more often. Touching is incredibly powerful. We just don’t give it enough credit.”
It is research done by neurologist. The article also noted:
“A hug, especially a long one, releases a neurotransmitter and hormone oxytocin, which reduces the reactivity of the amygdala. Research shows getting five hugs a day for four weeks increases happiness big time.”
All this confirms your post. Thanks for the post Jamie. I’ll use part of it in my message Sunday.
Thanks for sharing this, Robert.