Day 36: Losing Loss

The fear of losing LOSS as a companion is as real as rock. Loss does not require a person to strive. Loss does not ask anything of us. So we find comfort in loss. It becomes a friend. Loss sits with us like a mirror, and we can look into it with unceasing inquisition, and never get an answer. And never get peace.

Loss loves us like lust, and licks wounds that might otherwise heal if left out in the air.

We can sit in loss (of whatever):

friendship
love
money
career
faith
keys

like a wading pool.

And in a contented way, we might even presume that we’re technically still swimming.

But loss, like a rock, if held onto, becomes an weight that does not allow for gain.

And what could we gain?

friendship
love
money
career
faith
keys (actually, no. those are still lost.)

I admit, when I feel the cloud – the cover – of loss start to move away from me, there’s a part that panics. What if the light is too bright? Who am I without it? If loss does not define my depth, will happiness make me shallow?
And on and on
until I find
I’ve spent my days
pursuing the path of shadows…

There is a time
when loss should live beside us;
it is a field
to be plowed with sorrow, yes,
but (I believe)
must be sowed with hope in return,
lest it lay
shaded by clouds
and barren by choice.

 

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