Day 272: Clean Papers

∴

how blank and vast and white and daunting
is a clean paper.

i have seen many,
marked with red
and crumpled,
smudged with lead
and stained with coffee
or unclaimed crumbs
that fell from the cake.

i have read some
that were incomplete,
that engaged me to the end
and left me turning them

over

and

over

and

over,

certain there must be more.

 

but there wasn’t.

 

and i wondered what was supposed to have been.

 

i have studied several that started
and scratched.

and started
and questioned.

and started again
and then trailed off…

incomplete
and possible
but wanting

because the pen went dry
while i was thinking.

 

i have poured over a few
that barely said a word
yet said so much,
i had to read them over

and

over

and

over

and

over,

to be certain i’d remember;

and sometimes
i do.

·

but this page today,
it weighs more than the rest
and i can’t be satisfied.

because i know it will never say
all that i have to say –
or could –
or should –

but i will try

i will try.

∴

 

 

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