Author: Jamie

Day 87: It’s the Time

Day 87: It’s the Time


Dear Child,

 

it’s not the toys i wrap
nor the bread i bake
the laundry i fold
nor the beds i make

it’s not the things i do
i do
i do
God, i don’t stop doing

i see
i see
it’s the time i give
to see you

so many days my eyes are fixed upon the work
that is not my greatest work

i know
i know
it’s the time i give
to know you

so many days my mind is overfilled
with things I shouldn’t mind

i hear
i hear
it’s the time i give
to listen

so many days i speak too much
and let your words go missing

but I have one thing more to say:

 

your words –

speak them always in your heart
they are yours
and yours deserving
though mine and many ears won’t hear
in the hustle of hurry –

keep them coming.

your dances –

though few will see them
or understand their beat
persist with arms pumping
and the stomping of your feet

keep on moving.

your gifts –

cannot be undone by others’ doing
cannot be forgot by others’ ignoring
cannot be lessened by lesser men
and cannot be known if you don’t show them

keep them going

out of you and on

and on

and on

and on

like the time
we all
must give.

Day87_ItsTheTime


Day 86: The Only Choice

Day 86: The Only Choice


At the divides in life:

the broken bridges,
the crags and ridges,
the lefts or rights,
the fights or flights,
the nos or yeses,
the mores or lesses,

we choose.

 

sometimes holding is not an option and choice comes upon you like hail.

(and you thought it was just raining, didn’t you?)

 

it’s there, under ice,
when the pelt
you felt
swells into welt,

you react
and chose

something

for better or worse

 

to get away from the pain
or the fear of more ice coming.

and in the shelter of that outcome –
when the hail has stopped and the skies are clear again –
you wonder if you chose well.
wisely.
right.

 

o you little choices –
you shooting stars –

with the passing of time
have matured into mountains
too steep to be climbed.

now. dry. clearing sky.
how do we face the choices we chose?

we can hide them,
deny them,
heartily defend them,
perpetually repent them,

but to undo we cannot do

they’re not bargained slaves in ugly trade
they are not painted up and prettier made
they are ours and solely owned
they cannot be sold
they cannot be loaned

we cannot reverse ourselves in time,
just as fallen lights
back to the heavens cannot climb.

so here in this moment, come sit with me, choices
like children,
like ages,
let me see you,
hear your voices.

I’ll no longer judge you
or shamefully begrudge you
you were young once,

and so was I.

and together,
we’ll know better,

though hail still downward flies.

 

Day86_Hail


Day 85: Miss (a poem to the rhythm of travel)

Day 85: Miss (a poem to the rhythm of travel)


long roads
dark miles
yellow seconds ticking
like blinks of eyes and days gone by
and how the years are pricking

my mind

with memory

do we miss what we never were?

 

was it the curve or the bend
that led down a dead end
on the track

and do we want to go back?

 

far from home, the table calls
with scents of smoke and sage
nearer we come and courage stalls;

is it side effect of age?

 

I missed the answers to these questions.
I miss the home that I can rest in.
and warmth of a fire within

 

I’ll place the hearth in my belly,
beg the four winds to tell me:
which way?
which way?
which way?

 

long roads

dark miles

get me home.

 Day85_Long Roads


Day 84: Alike

Day 84: Alike

The role of the artist – the journey of the creative – though sometimes strange and often isolating, is more important than ever. If it’s in you, you know it, and it’s time to share it. Not everyone is called to be an artist (and thank God), but those who aren’t depend on the artist’s creation; by which they can evaluate and ponder, applaud or disagree, strengthen or change the world around them.

I cannot build spaceships.
I cannot reckon the stars.
I cannot cure cancer,
but I might be able to show you what the world would look like if YOU did.

 

Not everything is art, but there is an art to everything.

Claim your craft.

 

 


~Thank you, Kevin Henderson, for sharing this video and for being a fiddler on the hill.

~Thank you, to you who bring my colors back to me. 

~”Alike” is an animated short film directed by Daniel Martínez Lara & Rafa Cano Méndez, published on YouTube by Pepe School Land, and featured in Sofo Archon’s The Unbounded Spirit

Day84_Alike

Day 83: Reasons to Be Happy

Day 83: Reasons to Be Happy

for times we laughed at the same time and together,
for food shared in the wee, thin hours (those calories never count),
for pink cheeks from brown rum,
for stories that tell the story we do not live.

 

for wit that impresses and the gratitude to find it
for the bounty that befalls us when we least expect it.

 

for being seen without alteration
and wanted still.

 

for just the right amount of contradiction
to strengthen your conviction
but teach you to listen.

 

for little kids who you can’t fool

(may they grow to adulthood and see so clear)

 

for mesmerizing camp fires that coax conversation to sweeter truths,
for the embers that do not die.

 

I have had these things and more,
but I am mostly

happy

‘cause I held you
happy to have loved you
just that once

and forever.

 

Day83_EmbersThatDoNotDie


Day 82: An Open Letter To Insecurity

Day 82: An Open Letter To Insecurity


Dear Insecurity,

What a curious little gremlin you are. It has come to my attention as of late that you’ve been whispering sweet nothings in my ear, and in the ears of many a close friend. Your sweet nothings would be nothing if we would but stop listening. Alas, your nothings DO amount to something.

And quite large somethings, sometimes, too.

You, who convince us that our loves do not love us,
could not love us,
would not love us,

that our wisdom is banal
and our humor benign.
that precision is anal
and our aim, misaligned.
Predictor of failure,
so why even try?
You forecast storms in the clearest of skies.

You bike-crasher, foot-tripper, song-stifler, and courage flatter.
You word-swallower, letter-loser, note-bender, mad-hatter.
You line-dropper
and moxie-mopper.
You wall-builder,
(is that what killed her?)

sword-sheather, impulse-squelcher,
bud-nipper, insult-belcher,

You friend-corrupter, treasure-hider,
You shoulder-huncher, you shame-rider.

You isolator, you confiner,
you medicator, you light-un-shiner.

 

We

don’t

want

you,

anymore.

You do us no good, so here’s the door:

Take your critiques and your shadows of doubt,
take your sick fragments and see yourself out,

insidious creature, there’s no room for you here.
We’re replacing your space with the absence of fear.
‘Cause there’s something that’s in us
that’s good
and that’s whole
and to fill it with doubt
is no longer your role.

We’d wish you the best,
but we know you’ll not find it
for you’ll only seek pain
and in yourself, bind it.

So consider this letter a heartfelt rejection
of all your doomsaying and damning projection.

Dear, dear insecurity,
here is grossly over-due
notification:

YOU’RE FIRED.

Signed,
me and my friends
(with unshackled elation).

Day82_Post Immediately

Day 81: Story Number Two, Chapter Three

Day 81: Story Number Two, Chapter Three

The Fight


Now the giant was accostomed to chasing down his prey and stomping the ground so hard that as he got near, their running footsteps would be be stolen from beneath them. The earth would yield to his boot and his victims would stumble upon themselves in complete terror, trying to get away from him.

He was perpetually amused by the tactics those little humans would employ to escape their doom, which of course, never worked. He thought of those who’d hide in a ditch, betting that his vision was poor (which it was not), and how he’d pulverize the ground until he created new and deeper ditches.

The unfortunates would lose their lives in those shallow graves.

He recalled those who would run:
how futile and frantic
a run can be ran;
how a fight can be won
though it never began.

He prided himself on their 300 steps to his 15
before he’d catch them
and lift them up from the ground
and pull their limbs
like leaves from a stem.

but what this giant did not expect

was a girl,

smaller than his routine mark,
coming straight at him
with eyes so clear
and sharp.

His gait flustered and his vision perplexed.
He did not actually know how to capture something that was not moving

away from him.

 

It was a jarring thought:

“what do I do when something comes at me?”

So jarring, in fact, that he stopped, mid-trot.
His arms fell to his sides and he stood,
towering over the girl,
stupefied by her assault,
amused by her mettle,
entranced by the élan of pocket-sized pluck,
and he began to laugh.

he                       laughed

 and

he                         laughed

and

he                           laughed

 

The girl stopped.

With her heart in her throat and her knees in her toes, she looked straight at him;

there they were, in a ridiculous stand off of befuddled curiosity, when he spoke.

“Girl, where are you from?”

She replied,

“I am from a home

and a gravel road

and earthen trails

and a farther place too,

where all the sky

and all the stars

and all the moons

and suns converge.

I am from a place that is all places

and not one is better than the rest.

Where, Giant, are you from?”

He answered,

“I am from a place underneath all of this

and it is dark

and there is no sound

except the clicking of my eyelids

in search of light.

I think I should like to see

your home

and your gravel roads

and your sky and suns and moons and stars converging.”

said she,

“war no more with me

and I will take you there.”

 

Day 81_Story 2, Chapter 3

And the world became a bigger place for both of them.


The End

Day 80: Story Number Two, Chapter Two

Day 80: Story Number Two, Chapter Two

The Giant


The girl stood in her steps as the trees parted,
and from behind the curtain of green,
came a very large
and very angry

giant.

He burst forth from the woodland as though he were brushing horseflies from his hips, instead of displacing deep oaks and uprooting ancient aspen.

He stood, ominous against the edge of the smitten wood,
and spotted the girl,
far out in her quaint clearing,
and began marching toward her.

Now the girl – she had never seen a giant before – was in shock.

It was as alarming as a pit bull coming at you from behind a closed gate,
with fangs baring and four legs braiding
in a splay of attack and threat.

Everything stopped.

In that split second
that contains the whirlwind of thought
of all the outcomes
of all the choices
she could ever make

the girl thought:

“If I run, he’ll surely catch me,

If I hide, he’ll surely crush me,

but if I run toward him –

straight at him –

there’s a chance I could see what’s coming at me.

There’s a chance I could dodge

There’s a chance I could dance

There’s a chance in me somewhere.

I know it.”

So with all her might, she dug the balls of her feet into the matted grass and began her clash and blitz against the giant.

It was a raindrop in defiance of the iceberg.
It was a bee in combat with the eagle.

but she ran, with
head down,
eyes up,
fists clenched,
feet pounding –

she ran

straight

into the giant.

 

Day80_Story 2;Ch 2


…Final Chapter tomorrow!

A side note about story-telling: I’ve recently been reading a lot of allegory, myth, and folklore. So many of these stories seem nonsensical and foreign, outlandish and (in some cases) even pointless. But as I give them breath, and space to mix in my mind, I find my attraction to “tale” is not found in the answer it gives, for rarely are things tied up in neat bows, but rather in the questions that rise up inside me while I read. More than that, these types of stories encourage a willingness in me to live with sensitivity to mystery, without needing absolutes, and in appreciation of universal truth experienced through the vehicle of the absurd.

Day 79: Story Number Two, Chapter One

Day 79: Story Number Two, Chapter One

The Girl


Once upon a time,

a little girl went for a walk.

She walked far, far out, onto gravel roads and earthen trails, past forests, past lakes, past vast plains and wide fields until new forests began. Eventually, she came to a place that was so far away, she could see ALL the sky, and all the stars, and all moons and suns as they traveled overhead.

She stood there,
under the moons
and the suns
and the stars
and the sky,
and decided she was full.
Full of distance and full of space.
Full of mystery and full of grace.

She held her gaze with the heavens as long as she could
until her breath clouded the air in front of her
and she blinked a long blink of thanksgiving
and thought, “it’s time to go back home.”

 

On her way back home, though, whilst she was walking in wide open country, she fixed her eyes on a distant line of trees that began a dense and shadowed woodland. The trees, that should have been a static silhouette against the sky, stirred only by breeze and birdsong, puzzled her as they began to move in odd and forceful shoves. They were being violently parted, as if a plow was digging it’s way up from beneath them, from root to leaf, and heading toward the clearing.

Those massive ash and elms looked like blades of grass, cleft from the ground up, by a mouse’s track.

She slowed her pace.
She held her breath so it no longer clouded the air in front of her.
She opened her eyes as wide as they could open
because she knew something

big –

something large enough to divide woods and timber –

was about to come out
and into the open…

 

Day79_StoryTwo,ChapterOne


…Chapter Two tomorrow.

Day 78: When Old Friends Meet

Day 78: When Old Friends Meet


There are some people you go for years without seeing,
but life brings you ‘round to each other, eventually.

doesn’t life have a way of doing that?

 

And when it does –

bring you ‘round –

 

it’s a lovely thing to find that despite all the

job changes

personal challenges

recent victories

new memories

traumatic events

stupid movies

new pets

lost loves

gray hair

broken bones

old habits,

dying hard

 

some things still remain the same –

and friendship
need be
the only commonality
between kind souls.

 

Day 78_When Old Friends Meet